Tax Nerds Set Record Straight on Tax Code vs. NFL Rulebook Complexity

Posted on by Caleb Newquist

If there's one thing tax people can't stand, it's other people saying incorrect things about taxes.

I know this because I used to be a tax person who spent lots time listening to superiors correct me (and others) constantly on nuances of the code.

But, it's fine! Taxes are hard and people like showing off. It's human nature, especially for a tax nerd. I mean, c'mon, it's the only thing they've got.

Anyway, NFL commentator Cris Collinsworth said something silly the other night during the Broncos/Patriots game when he fumbled through an explanation about the excess time out rule: "The [NFL] Rulebook is like the IRS Code right now. Who knows what's all in there."

That's funny! Because the tax code is complex! Alright, it's not that funny. Collinsworth is a football guy who probably gets his tax knowledge from Al Michaels. He can't be expected to know the difference between a Section 351 transfer and Section 721 transfer, can he? No, he cannot.

The Tax Foundation, full of good natured folks to be sure, couldn't let it go, though. They methodically dismantled Collinsworth:

Word Count

NFL Rulebook: 55,000 words

Internal Revenue Code: 3.9 million words

These being federal statutes, much of the word count is internal citations, appendices, enactment clauses, and the like, but a reasonable estimate with all this stripped away is still over 2.4 million words. Add in case law, guidance, and other supplementary material needed to actually understand the tax code and you wind up with CCH's 74,000 page Standard Federal Tax Reporter. The NFL Rulebook, including tables and diagrams, runs 79 pages.

One thing is for certain: Carly Fiorina can't get either the tax code or the NFL rulebook down to three pages. Back to the TF:

People Who Know What's All In There

NFL Rulebook: "Who knows what's all in there," but officiating crews, presumably?

Internal Revenue Code: Nobody.

Adequate Explanation of What Constitues [sic] a Catch

NFL Rulebook: No.

Internal Revenue Code: No.

Oh, nice one, Tax Foundation! See? I told you they were good natured. But, yes, for the record, the IRC is more complex than the NFL rulebook. The matter is now closed.

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Tonight will be the 26th tax day party of my accounting career. Pardon me if I don’t stick around very long.

The only really memorable tax day party was my first one. The tax group of the “Big 8” firm where my career started went to across the street to old Busch Stadium in St Louis, where the firm rented a box for the Cardinals baseball game. I happily drank their beer, only to be canned exactly a week later. That sort of took the fun out of the whole thing (though if I did something at the party to get fired from good old PW, it was the best career move I ever made).


So I found a job with the Des Moines tax group of another big firm. There the tax day party doubled as a bachelor party for one of the other staff accountants, and we all (well, the boy accountants) went to a north side strip club. I didn’t have any spare dollars for the garters, and I slipped away home, where I could drink all night for the cost of a single beer at the girlie club. But I just went to bed.

Which is really about all I feel like doing by the end of the day on April 15. By noon today I had already worked a 65-hour week. I’ve been in close company with my co-workers here from early morning to late night for weeks, and, as much as I love them to death, I’ve had enough quality time with them.

There are other awkward things about the tax parties. Like auditors. You can identify them by their animation and their golf tans – a sharp and annoying distinction from us dazed, pallid tax zombies. Bonus annoyance points if they come to the April 15 party straight from the golf course.

These parties typically occur at a local bar, where you run the high possibility of a colleague embarrassing himself in front of a client. Or worse, a drunk client hitting on one of our staff accountants. Worse still, a staff accountant hitting on a client. Unless it goes really well, of course.

Finally, I’m a boss now. Nobody really wants to do serious drinking in front of a boss. So now I’m like the old guys who used to start the Masters with a ceremonial tee shot. I’ll take a ceremonial shot (Templeton Rye, try it sometime), and then leave the field to the youngsters.

So have a good time tonight. If you see me out, I’ll be at dinner with my wife (I think I’m still married). I’ll be the one snoring.

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